Verchain's Power Rankings - Week Five

WEEK FIVE POWER RANKINGS

It's your week five power rankings. And it's all written in English. Why ? Because I am Verchain. And I don't give a fuck. And I want Kate U to read my blog. Everyday. And twice on Sundays.

So, here we go.

1. Atlanta Falcons (5-0)

Those Falcons are quite good on the field... Outside of it... Not so much... Boring Falcons...

Charities and stuff...

Show some swag !

2. Houston Texans (5-0)

Hey, even the Tebow-centric morons at ESPN had a crush on the Texans.

Yes. A lot of people are, these days...

3. Harbaugh West Niners (4-1)

They are the only team with 300 yards passing AND 300 yards rushing in one game. And they'll have a new stadium...

4. Minnesota Vikings (4-1)

Your weekly Viking Ship stuff.

5. New England Patriots (3-2)

Those guys at ProFootballMock make a heck of a job. QBs Facebook clash ? Yeah, right...

And fatties don't like the new Nike Uniforms... I can feel your pain, bros...

6. Chicago Bears (4-1)

Yeah. Old pervert on the Chi's sideline...

No comment.

7. San Diego Chargers (3-2)

In San Diego, sometimes, the guys are like... Peace...

Parfois... Pas...

Philip wanted a goddam punt, Norv !

8. Harbaugh East Ravens (4-1)

Ray Lewis' son is going to enroll in The Miami Hurricanes football team next season. So, Ray might be calling it quits. We'll miss him. Sort of.

9. Arizona Cardinals (4-1)

Still ranked in my top ten ? You bet...

You bet... A Tebow Cards' Jersey...

10. New York Giants (3-2)

That's what you're missing, Big Blue. Add some cheesecake !

Instead of... That...

11. Pittsburgh Steelers (2-2)

Yep, sometimes, I too would like to throw some Steelers' stuff right out of the field...

12. Cincinnati Bengals (3-2)

I share your fear, sweetie... I freak out too, sometimes, as I see the Bengals...

13. Philadelphia Eagles (3-2)

Well, our very own Dehlia is upset...

And our other local correspondent EatDatPussy... Visited Philly for the first time...

14. Seattle Seahawks (3-2)

Yeah, they have lame vids made by fans too...

15. Green Bay Packers (2-3)

I'll take the older version of Aaron Rodgers, please, not that one.

Or the 'teammate' of Clay Matthews...

16. Denver Broncos (2-3)

Peyton Manning is set to be one of the owners of the Memphis Grizzlies...

Yeah, Manning face...

17. St Louis Rams (3-2)

Yes, Danny Amendola, watching that game made me mad too...

Yes...

18. Miami Dolphins (2-3)

Best Parody of The Century. Period.

And, yes, those guys at #WAARFRecord did THAT TOO

And Reggie Bush scored. On his girlfriend. Who looks like some kind of slim Kim K... Baby Reggie in the making. The girl's pregnant by him...

19. Indianapolis Colts (2-2)

You will rue the day, Donald Brown, you will rue the day you made fun of God Rodgers...

Classic shit in the stands.

20. New Orleans Saints (1-4)

No love for Sean Payton...

Or for Roger Goodell, by the way...

21. Dallas Cowboys (2-2)

There's only ONE good reason to root for the Cowboys. The Cheerleaders.

But... The fans deserve some praise, too...

22. New Jersey Tacos (2-3)

Oh, fuck ! A third Ryan Bro ?

Annnnnnd :

Annnd :

Annd...

And.

23. Buffalo Bills (2-3)

What's better than a good old rant ?

24. Washington Redskins (2-3)

Robert goes all pedo ?

Nice swag, bro...

No swag, bro...

25. Detroit Lions (1-3)

Well, that's your weekly LFL Update.

26. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-3)

Captain Fear maybe inspired those guys of Fox Sports. For worse.

27. Oakland Raiders (1-3)

Yeah, that's old... But... Raiders' fans rulaiz...

28. Tennessee Titans (1-4)

At least, the cheerleaders... Yeah, you know what...

And Jared Cook (who is a @Verchain follower) too.

29. Carolina Panthers (1-4)

Tim Tebow, get out of Cam Newton's body. Yeah, The Bible forbids this...

Right now...

Newton, the first ever Lego quarterback...

Whatever, that fantasy football stuff is ruining lives all over the planet

30. Kansas City Chiefs (1-4)

Arrowhead Stadium's stands. Facepalm.

Hey, whatever...

31. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-4)

Jaguars' fans give a lot more fight than the team they root for. They fight to death...

Some...

32. Cleveland Browns (0-5)

ESPN recently aired a nice documentary called 'Broke'. In that stuff, you could see former Browns' legendary QB Bernie Kosar. Bernie's broke. No more money. BUT : Bernie's daughter is a freakin' pornstar ! Take that, Factory of Sadness !

I definitively would..

Hey, Whatever ! 

Well, that's all for today, people... So...